Charlie's Last Christmas
by BettyHall223
Summary: It's Christmas and Jack is depressed. Sam wants to help.


_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**A/N: Started this before Christmas but have just now had time to finish. If you're not a shipper, you might not enjoy the story. This is set around season 8.**_

Daniel stood with his notes in his hand, telling SG-1 and General Hammond what he had learned about an artifact that the team had brought back from their last mission.

As Daniel talked, Sam scribbled something on a piece of paper. One would think she was probably taking notes, but that was not the case, not this time. She was quietly writing down ideas for a gift for Jack and was only halfway listening to Daniel. Christmas was a week away and she still had not decided what she would get him. He was always the hardest to choose a gift for. She wanted it to be something that she knew he would really like and maybe something unexpected.

She had already bought a book for Daniel entitled _Greatest Archaeological Discoveries_ and a coffee mug that read "I want my mummy."

She had also gotten a book for Teal'c. He would often ask her, Jack and Daniel, questions about the United States. She had found the perfect book to give him on American history. Over the years they had worked together, Sam had found out that Teal'c was an avid reader and loved to learn new things about his adopted planet.

She was sitting across from Jack and would never admit to anyone that she liked watching him during their briefings. His long fingers were constantly in motion, whether it was tapping his fingers, fiddling with a pen, paper clip or a piece of paper. His boundless energy was always just below the surface, always ready for a quick joke at Daniel's expense, just when Daniel was trying to be serious. She liked to watch the banter between the two friends and sometimes had to stifle a laugh when Jack said something that she thought was funny. Daniel was her friend too but she didn't want to hurt his feelings by giving him the impression that she was teasing him right along with Jack. But there was very little movement and no jokes from Jack. Not today. He looked like he would rather be anywhere but here. He sat staring into space with a sad, far away expression.

Sam had observed during the last few days that the Colonel seemed preoccupied. She thought she knew why he was acting this way. Daniel had told her, the first year they had worked together as a team, that Jack didn't celebrate Christmas, too much sadness associated with Charlie. Every year since then, she noticed how quiet and withdrawn he would become at this time of year. He always gave each of his teammates a gift but that was as far as it went. No decorating his house. No Christmas tree. Nothing. He usually disappeared to his cabin during that time, just wanting to be left alone.

As she looked at Jack, she remembered what had happened recently.

_A few weeks ago, the team had been stranded on another planet. Every time they tried to dial the Gate to go home, the last chevron would not lock. She had worked diligently for the past week to get it to work, without success. Thankfully, the people there were friendly, but primitive, so the team was not in any danger, but no one in the village knew anything about the Stargate. Her teammates knew that she would be the one to figure out how to get the Gate operational again and offered their help if needed._

_One afternoon after the team had eaten lunch, Daniel and Teal'c went off exploring. She went back to work, leaving Jack at the table with the village's leader and some of the villagers, talking about the differences in their worlds._

_A little later, Jack came to check on her. She was sitting on the ground with parts of the DHD spread out in front of her. She was so frustrated._

_"Carter, making any progress?"_

_She looked up at him. "Does it look like I'm making progress, sir?" she said a little sarcastically._

_Jack held out his hand to help her stand._

_"Come on. Let's take a walk. You need a break."_

_She took his hand as she rose to her feet and they walked in silence. About ten minutes later, they stopped and sat down, with shoulders touching, and watched the reflection of the sun sparkling on a beautiful lake._

_Jack raised his legs and rested his elbows on his knees as he played with a blade of grass between his fingers. "You'll figure it out, Carter. I have faith in you."_

_"I've done everything I can think of. About a dozen times" she said as she shook her head in exasperation._

_Jack looked down at the ground and then back up at her._

_"You know, Sam, there are some things about this planet that I really like."_

_She turned her head to look at him._

_"Such as?"_

_"Well, it's nice here. The people are friendly, no bad guys trying to chase us down, there's food and water and I'm here with a beautiful woman that I care about deeply."_

_Her dimples creased as she smiled at him._

_"And I'm here with a very handsome man that I care about deeply" she said as she stared into Jack's twinkling brown eyes._

_Jack took her hand in his and leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek._

_She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the contact of his warm lips and his hand holding hers. He leaned back up and they stared into each other's eyes._

_A moment later, a ship flew overhead and they watched it land not far from them. The brief moment between them was gone as they stood quickly. They ran toward the village to find a Tok'ra ship, and just when they got to it, a door opened and out stepped Jacob. He explained that General Hammond had gotten in touch with the Tok'ra to ask for help in rescuing the team, so here he was._

_The villagers had never seen a ship and came running and started asking Jack questions about it._

_"I'm so glad you're here, Dad" Sam said as she hugged her father._

_"You didn't think I was going to leave all of you out here with no way to get home, did you?" he said with a grin. "Although, this place doesn't look half bad to take an unexpected vacation" he said as he looked around._

_"It does have its advantages" she said as she stared at Jack._

_"Uh huh" Jacob said as he smiled at her as if to say 'I see what you mean.'_

_She blushed, then smiled at her father._

_Since then, she and Jack had tried to spend time together when they weren't on base. They had admitted their love for each other, even though the regulations still kept them apart, and there was one area of Jack's life that he had never discussed with her - Charlie._

Just then, Daniel asked Jack a question which brought Sam out of the memory.

"What? Oh, sorry Daniel, my mind was wandering" Jack said.

Daniel frowned, then went back to what he was saying.

Jack was sitting sideways to the table and Sam watched as he lay down his pen and stared at his hands, and the only movement from him was the up and down motion of his chest as he breathed in and out.

She started thinking about her feelings for her CO that had grown over the years. She thought back to the first time they had met, in this very room, and how she had slowly gotten to know Colonel Jack O'Neill. At first, she had just respected and admired him but now she knew him so well she would trust him with her life.

Back when they had been stuck in Antarctica together all those years ago, was when she first began to realize her attraction to him. Even in pain from his broken leg and cracked ribs, he still had faith in her to get them home. Since then, their friendship had grown and until the zatarc test, she would not admit, even to herself, just how much she cared for him. And now, just looking at him, she knew she loved him more than words could ever express. Being stuck on the planet, a few weeks ago, had given them a chance to be Jack and Sam, and admit that they still had feelings for each other since the zatarc test about four years ago.

Sam realized that she was so caught up in her daydreaming that she didn't notice Daniel sit down and General Hammond dismissed the team, until Jack stood up and quickly left the room. She watched him go as she slowly stood and picked up her notes.

Teal'c remained seated at the table beside Daniel.

Daniel glanced at Sam and noticed she was staring at the door.

"Sam, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She pushed her chair under the table and turned to walk out of the room. She was almost to the door when she suddenly turned around and came back to where Daniel and Teal'c sat.

"Have you noticed how quiet the Colonel has been?"

"Yes" answered Daniel and Teal'c nodded his head.

"Do you think it's because it's Christmas and it reminds him of Charlie?"

"I believe so" answered Teal'c.

"Should we do something?" she asked.

"You know how Jack is about Charlie. He usually just wants to be left alone" Daniel answered.

"Maybe he needs to know his friends care about him and that they understand if he's not himself right now."

"He wouldn't want our pity, Sam."

"It isn't pity. He's not only my CO, he's my friend."

"Very close friend" Daniel said as he grinned at her.

"Okay, okay. Yes, we're close friends" Sam said as she tried not to blush.

"Maybe you are the one person he would talk to. Teal'c and I know how much Jack cares about you" Daniel said as he looked back down at his notes and wrote something down.

"We're just friends and co-workers, Daniel, or that's all it can be right now" Sam said with sadness in her voice.

He looked back up at her. "Yes, but it has the potential to be so much more and both of you know it."

"But this is one area of his life he hasn't shared with me" she said softly.

"Not yet he hasn't but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Why don't you try talking to him?" Daniel said encouragingly.

"I don't know. I don't want him to think I'm intruding but at the same time I wouldn't want him to think I don't care."

"Then go talk to him" Daniel said with urgency in his voice.

Sam looked at her two teammates for a few moments, then left the room.

She got on the elevator to return to her lab. Just as she got off, Jack was getting on. He had changed clothes and was wearing his leather jacket.

"Leaving, sir?"

"Yes. Bye, Carter" he said as he pushed the button on the elevator.

"Bye, sir" she said as the elevator doors closed in front of her. Sadness enveloped her as she slowly walked back to her lab.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

Jack came through the door of his house, pulled the key from the door and tossed the keys on a small table. He took off his jacket and hung it up and then walked slowly back to his bedroom and opened the closet door. He moved some things around, then picked up a box that was sitting in the back of the closet. He held it in his hands for a few moments, just staring at it. He sat down on the bed and set the box down in front of him. This would be the first time he had worked up the courage to look inside. He took a deep breath before he slowly lifted the lid.

The first thing he noticed was a worn baseball glove. Charlie's glove. Jack put his hand inside the glove for a few moments and ran his hand over the soft leather before he took it off. He laid it down beside him, then picked up a soiled baseball and he turned it over slowly in his hand. He noticed "Charlie" written in fading ink. He touched his son's name as he remembered throwing the baseball with him in their backyard. He could almost hear his son's voice.

_"Pitch it faster. You won't hurt me if you throw it harder."_

_"I know, son, but you might hurt me if you throw it harder" Jack said with a grin._

_"No way, Dad. You're tough" Charlie said as he threw the ball back to him._

A smile came to his face at the memory of that afternoon so long ago, before his world had come crashing down.

Jack picked up a picture of Sara and Charlie. Charlie's last Christmas. Sara looked sleepy but happy as she held Charlie on her lap and they both smiled for Jack to snap the picture, their last Christmas together as a family. Tears came to his eyes and a sob escaped from his chest. He quickly brushed the tears away but the ache remained.

Sara had brought this box to him last summer, just before she remarried and moved out of state. He remembered their last conversation.

_"Hi, Jack" Sara said with a smile as he opened the door one hot Saturday morning in August, and motioned for her to come inside._

_"Sara" Jack said as he closed the door._

_"I brought you these things of Charlie's. I was packing up his room for the move and thought you might like to have them."_

_"Thanks" Jack said as he took the box from her. "Let's sit down."_

_He followed Sara into the living room and they sat down on the sofa. Jack placed the box on the floor._

_"So, you excited about the move?"_

_"Yes. It will be a new start for me" she said as she looked down at her hands._

_"Sara, it's okay to be happy again" Jack said as he placed his hand on top of hers._

_"I know, Jack. I know it's silly but I feel I'm abandoning our son."_

_"You can always come back to visit and Charlie would understand that you need to get on with your life" he said as he squeezed her hand._

They had talked about her wedding and Jack could honestly admit to himself that he was happy for her. Their marriage had been torn apart with Charlie's death and the hurt it had caused both of them was irreparable. He truly was happy for her, that she had moved on and found someone else.

He looked inside the box and picked up a small model airplane. He remembered Charlie painstakingly putting the airplane together. He had offered to help, but Charlie wanted to build the plane by himself and Jack remembered the big smile Charlie had worn when he proudly showed the finished airplane to him and Sara.

He picked up a picture he had taken of Sara and Charlie in the hospital. Sara had been pregnant and he had been on assignment overseas for months and had made it home just a few days before she had gone into labor. Jack had snapped the picture just as Sara kissed their tiny son on his forehead. It was the very first picture of Charlie, taken just a few hours after he was born. Tears ran down his cheeks as he remembered that day so vividly. The happiest day of his life was when he had become a father.

There were other things, but it suddenly became too much and Jack put the glove, the baseball, the plane and the pictures back in the box and replaced the lid. Looking through the box had just reminded him of how much he hated Christmas. It seemed the whole world was in a cheerful mood this time of year. All the happy songs he heard on the radio, the carolers, the decorated houses and Christmas trees. He hated the false friendliness of strangers. Didn't they realize that not everyone was in a cheery frame of mind this time of year? There were memories of Christmases past that could never be relived again. Memories of a lost little boy that could never be replaced. The smile and voice of his son that he would never forget.

He made the effort to get presents for his teammates but he always dreaded going to the mall. He had made the mistake this year of going at a busy time on a Saturday. There were parents with their children waiting to talk to Santa, which brought back memories of he and Sara taking Charlie to sit on the knee of the big man in red. He now hated the laughter of the children as they grew excited and impatient while waiting in line. He just wanted to scream, 'don't you know how much it hurts to not have my son in my life any more? It isn't fair!'

Another sob escaped as he put the box back on the closet floor and closed the door. He reached up to wipe the tears from his cheeks and realized his hands were trembling. He jammed his fists into his pockets and tried to breathe deeply.

'It never gets any better. The pain never goes away' he said to himself as he sat down on the bed and stared out the window. He sat there for several minutes as he again brushed the tears from his face and tried to compose himself.

The doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting anyone and certainly did not want to talk to anybody right now. He just wanted to be left alone in his misery.

'Go away' he thought to himself.

The doorbell rang again so he slowly walked to the door and looked out to see Sam standing on his doorstep. He closed his eyes for a moment, then ran his hand over his face.

Sam waited. In a few moments, she started to leave but then heard the door open quietly. She turned around to see Jack looking at her.

"Carter, something I can do for you?" He really didn't mean to sound rude but that was how it came out.

Sam noticed he had been crying.

"Sir. I was just, uh, wondering if I could talk with you."

"About what?"

"Well, I'm worried about you, sir."

"I'm fine, Carter."

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think you are."

"Go away, Sam" he said as he started to close the door.

Calling her Sam gave her some indication that maybe he didn't really want her to leave.

She quickly raised her hand and placed it on the door so he couldn't shut it. He might not like her being here, but she was determined to talk to him.

They stared at each other for a few moments until Jack let go of the door, turned around and walked back in the house. Sam closed the door behind her. She followed him into the living room and they sat down on the sofa.

Sam looked at Jack and knew she would have to start the conversation, that he was not about to open up to her on his own.

They had discussed lots of things since their time on the planet but Charlie had been off limits.

"I don't want you to think I'm interfering in your life, sir, and I know this time of year is hard for you . . ."

"I'm fine" he said as he stared at her.

"No, you're not, Jack."

He raised his eyebrow.

"You've been crying and I think I know why and if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen and I want to help, and I know you don't want to hear it, but crying is good for you. It isn't healthy to always keep things bottled up."

"You don't cry."

She took a deep breath. "Yes, I do. I just don't cry in front of people if I can help it."

"Then I guess we're alike in that way" Jack said as he turned his head and stared at the floor.

"I know you and I have never discussed it, but I know this time of year is hard for you because of Charlie. Don't get me wrong, but it's hard for a lot of people. I'm not trying to minimize the hurt you feel, I would never do that, Jack. I don't know what it's like to have a child and then lose him and, I don't know, I might behave the same way you are. I want you to know you don't have to go through this alone every year. Every Christmas I see how distraught you get and I feel so helpless. I guess I just never had the nerve to bring it up until now, but you know how I feel about you and I hate to see you this way. I care what happens to you, and I'll always be here if you need me. Please don't shut me out" she said as tears came to her eyes.

Jack stood up and went over to the fireplace and turned his back to her.

"I don't deserve anybody's understanding, Sam, after what I did."

Sam came to stand beside him and she put her hand on his arm. "Jack, it wasn't your fault what happened to Charlie."

He turned to look at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Yes, it was! I'm the one who left the gun in the house. Sara had told me not to leave it where he could find it."

"You surely didn't leave it out where he could get his hands on it, did you?"

"No, it was in a box on a high shelf in the closet. I had tried to teach him that guns were dangerous and not to touch it."

"Then you did everything you could, Jack. He was a curious little boy."

"But most little boys don't end up dead like my son, Sam" Jack said as he sat down on the sofa and held his hands in his head and began to sob.

Sam knelt down on the floor in front of Jack and wrapped her arms around him and just let him cry. She held him for several minutes and it broke her heart to see Jack in such pain.

Finally, he wiped his eyes and tried to choke back the tears. "I should have known better than to have a gun in the house at all. I should have locked it up and put it in a safer place where he would have never thought to look for it."

Sam got up from the floor and sat down beside him and held his hand.

"I have to live with this guilt the rest of my life and most of the time I can deal with it. But Christmas just brings back all the memories. I miss him so much and talking about him isn't easy for me" he said as he stared at their hands.

"Yes, I know. But I'll do anything I can to help lessen the pain for you" she said as she put her other hand on top of his and they looked at each other for a few moments.

"Maybe there is something you can do" Jack said as he suddenly let go of her hands and stood up.

"I'll be right back" he said as he disappeared down the hall.

Sam took a deep breath and waited.

In a few moments Jack returned, carrying a box and he set it down on the floor in front of them.

"Sara brought this by for me a few months ago and just before you came, I had started going through it for the first time, but had to stop because it upset me too much" Jack said softly.

Sam looked at the box, then at Jack.

"Do you want me to look through it with you?"

"Yes" he whispered as he took off the lid and placed it under the coffee table.

He got out the baseball glove and handed it to Sam. She took it and carefully ran her fingers over it and felt how soft it was, then laid it in her lap.

Jack picked up the baseball and held it out to her. She took the ball, turning it over in her hands.

"Charlie" she said as she noticed his name on the ball.

"He loved to play" Jack said with a grin.

"Was he good?"

"Yes, he was. Good hitter. Better than any of the other kids on his team" he said as he remembered watching his son play the game he loved so much.

Sam put the ball in the palm of the glove.

Jack picked up the picture of Charlie sitting on Sara's lap that he had made at their last Christmas together, and handed it to Sam.

"He looked like you" Sam said as she stared at the picture.

"Poor kid" Jack said with a grin.

"I wouldn't say that. Very handsome young man. Very handsome indeed. Just like his father" Sam said as she smiled at him.

Jack handed her the picture of Sara kissing Charlie on the forehead, explaining it was Charlie's very first picture.

"That's beautiful" Sam said softly.

"Yes, it is."

Next was the airplane.

"Charlie worked so carefully to put this together. It sat on his dresser and he would hardly allow anyone to touch it, so afraid someone would break it. He wanted to be a pilot."

"Just like you" Sam said with a smile. She took the airplane from Jack and looked at it before carefully setting it down on the coffee table, away from everything else so it wouldn't get broken.

Jack handed her another picture.

"This is my dad with Charlie. The picture was made at the cabin. Just a few months after it was made, dad died of a heart attack. He and Charlie were very close. I'm glad . . ." Jack started to say but then trailed off and tears came to his eyes.

Sam reached over and took Jack's hand and he held on tightly.

"I'm glad he wasn't around when Charlie died" Jack said as he reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes with his other hand. "I know how much it would have upset him."

Sam squeezed his hand.

Jack reached down in the corner of the box and pulled out a trophy about twelve inches tall. It was of a young boy in the stance of a baseball player who had just hit the ball and was just letting go of the bat. The award had Charlie's name engraved at the bottom.

"He won this for best sportsman-like conduct on his baseball team, just a few weeks before he died."

"He must have been well-liked."

Jack nodded his head and took a deep sigh as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

Neither one said anything for a few moments as Jack stared at the trophy.

"You know, Jack, I've read that losing a child is the second most devastating event that can happen to a person. Losing a spouse is first and divorce is third. You've been through two and three. I haven't been through any of those things so I won't even try to pretend to know how you feel. I just want you to know I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me. I promise."

"Thanks" Jack said as he wiped his eyes. "Have you ever had a bad Christmas?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Yes. What you've been through doesn't even compare, but I miss my Mom at this time of year more than any other. She loved Christmas and always made everything so special for Dad, Mark and me. The first Christmas after she died, I spent the whole day crying. We had just moved to a new city and I hadn't made new friends. Dad was off working somewhere and couldn't be at home. Mark and I had had a fight about something stupid and he wasn't speaking to me and had disappeared somewhere and I had never felt so alone in all my life. I had decorated a small Christmas tree, just trying to make myself feel better, I guess. The house felt so empty and I didn't get to open presents with Dad and Mark. I spent the day wishing that Mom was there to wrap her arms around me and tell me that everything would be okay. That was the worst Christmas of my life, but I got through it" she said as tears came to her eyes.

"Christmas is supposed to be such a happy time of year but that isn't always the case" Jack said as he stared at one of the pictures.

"No, it certainly isn't" Sam said as she picked up the baseball and held it in her hand.

Jack leaned over and picked up a card.

"This was the last birthday card he ever gave me" Jack said as he opened the card and read it. "I remember when he gave me this and for some reason I decided not to throw it away. I wish now I had kept all the cards and everything he ever gave me, even though it hurts to look at all this stuff."

"It's good to hang on to those memories" Sam said. "I still have my mother's jewelry and her jewelry box. Every time I open it, it smells like the perfume she used to wear. Somehow, it's just . . . comforting. Packed away in my attic, I have her wedding dress."

Jack smiled. "Maybe you'll get to wear it some day."

"I hope so" she said as they stared at each other.

They spent time going through the other things in the box except for a large stack of pictures. Sam didn't mention them and thought maybe Jack wanted to go through them when he was alone. When they had finished, they carefully put everything back in the box, and Jack replaced the lid. He sat back on the sofa and sighed.

Jack reached for Sam's hand.

"I'm glad you came by and I'm sorry I was rude to you when I answered the door" he said as he looked into her blue eyes.

"I'm glad I came by too and I do understand. It's normal to lash out when you're hurting."

Jack looked down at the floor as if he were thinking about something, then looked up at her.

"Would you do something for me?"

"Name it."

"Would you spend Christmas with me at my cabin?"

Sam started to smile. "After all these years, you still want me to come with you?"

"Yes. I'd really like to show you the place."

"I'd love to, Jack" she said as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

As Sam left Jack's house, she knew exactly what she would get him for Christmas.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

It was December 23rd and Stargate Command was closed for the holidays, except for a skeleton crew.

Teal'c had gone back to Chulak to visit Rya'c and Daniel had left town to spend Christmas with his cousin.

Jack came by at dawn to pick up Sam and just as they were putting her things in his truck, it started to snow.

"Looks like Colorado will have a white Christmas" Sam said as she looked up at the cloudy sky before getting into the truck.

"From the weather forecast it may be like this all the way to Minnesota. We better get moving" Jack said as they got in and they both fastened their seat belts.

A few miles down the road, Jack turned on a radio station that was playing soft music.

"That's nice" Sam said as she grinned at Jack.

He held out his hand and Sam entwined her fingers with his.

They chatted as they rode along and the snow kept coming as they stopped for lunch around noon. They stopped to eat again when it was starting to get dark and the wind was blowing harder when they got back to the truck. Jack turned on the heater and reached for a blanket from the back seat and handed it to Sam.

"Thanks." She unfolded the blanket and put it over her legs.

"Now all I need is a pillow" she said with a grin.

"Sorry" he said as he smiled at her.

Sam turned sideways and laid her head on the back of the seat as she drew her knees up under her and pulled the blanket over her shoulder. The warmth from the heater and the blanket made her drowsy so she closed her eyes.

Jack glanced at her. She looked so peaceful as he started thinking about how fortunate he was to have her in his life. He knew she could have any man she wanted and she had chosen him.

He didn't know what he would have ended up doing this Christmas. Probably be at his cabin feeling miserable. Sam had taken a chance when she had come to his house. He could have not answered the door or slammed it in her face. But he was glad that she had stood up to him. He did feel better after they had talked and he had to admit that she really was good for him. All those years of hiding their feelings for each other. Being stuck on the planet a few weeks ago had been a blessing in disguise. He could easily have stayed there with her for the rest of his life. He smiled to himself as he remembered the private conversation he had had with Jacob on their way to the Alpha site, when he had rescued the team. Sam had been sleeping so she didn't know anything about it.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

By the time they got to the cabin, it was late and had almost stopped snowing.

When they arrived, Jack gently shook Sam awake.

"We're here" he said.

Sam opened her eyes as Jack stepped out of the truck. She folded the blanket and put it on the back seat.

They got their luggage and walked through the snow to the cabin. Jack put the key in the door and stepped inside as Sam followed.

He turned on the light and Sam closed the door and looked around. It wasn't what she had pictured Jack's cabin to be. In fact, it was way better than she had expected. There was a large fireplace at the back wall with large windows on each side and a sitting area with two sofas and a chair in front of the fireplace. To the right was an eat-in kitchen. To the left was a hallway leading to the bedrooms. The cabin was rustic and cozy.

"Welcome to my humble abode" Jack said with a grin.

"Jack, this is nice."

"I knew you'd like it if I could ever get you up here. Come with me and I'll show you to your room." Sam followed him down the hall.

Jack paused in the hallway to turn on the heat.

"This is my room" he said as he walked into the first bedroom on the right and sat down his luggage.

"Yours is right across the hall" he said as he opened the door and turned on the light. It had a queen size bed with a dresser and mirror and a chair in the corner.

"Here's a closet if you have some clothes you want to hang up" he said as he opened the closet door.

Sam put her luggage on the bed.

"Very spacious" she said as she looked around.

"It's late so we need to get some sleep" Jack said as he walked over to her and took her hand.

"I'm really glad you're here" he said as he looked into her eyes.

"Me too" she said as she squeezed his hand and Jack kissed her.

"Could you show me to the bathroom?"

"Right this way." He led her down to the end of the hall and into the bathroom and turned on the light. "There are towels in the closet if you want to take a shower."

"Night, Sam."

"Night, Jack."

As she came out of the bathroom, she noticed how quiet and dark it was, no street lights or traffic. She hurriedly got undressed and into her pajamas since the heat had not been on long enough to warm the house. She got under the covers, stretched and yawned, and before she knew it, had fallen asleep.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

Sam awoke early the next morning, took a shower and got dressed. She came into the living room just as Jack came through the front door carrying a tree.

"Morning" he said.

"Hi."

"I thought I'd get us a Christmas tree" he said with a grin.

"It's the perfect shape" she said after he set the tree next to the fireplace in front of one of the windows. The tree was about six feet tall.

"You cut this down yourself?"

"Yes. It's on my property and it's been growing for a few years. It's finally the perfect height for a Christmas tree. I have some decorations up in the attic" he said as he went to get them.

As they decorated the tree, Jack told her the history of some of the ornaments, things that Sara and Charlie had decorated the tree with in happier times.

"This is the first time I've put up a tree since Charlie died" Jack said as he put the star on top. "I just never wanted anything to do with Christmas since then" he said as tears came to his eyes.

Sam quickly hung the ornament she held in her hand, then put her arm around Jack's waist.

"I'm sorry you've been so unhappy all these Christmases, Jack. I wish you would have shared your sadness with me."

"Sharing isn't something I do very well, Sam, as you know. But, we can't change the past, so let's enjoy this Christmas" he said as his arm came around her waist and he kissed her on the forehead.

They finished the decorations and stood back to admire the tree.

"It's beautiful" Sam said.

"Yes, it is."

"Oh, something's missing" Sam said as she went to the bedroom and came out carrying a wrapped Christmas gift and set it under the tree.

"That's for you" she said.

"I have some, too" Jack said as he went to the bedroom, came back and placed two boxes under the tree.

"Two?" she asked.

"Yep" he said with a smile.

So, where is this elusive lake that I've heard so much about?"

"Put on your boots and your coat and I'll show you" Jack said with enthusiasm.

They went outside. The pristine snow around the cabin was about six inches deep and the sun was trying to peek out from behind the clouds.

Jack took Sam's hand and led her around to the back of the cabin. They walked down the yard and stopped at the dock.

"Ta da" Jack said as he waved his hand out over the lake and smiled at her.

"Oh, my" Sam said as she admired the beauty. "It looks like something in a picture, with all the snow and trees and the water and the clouds overhead. I should have come with you a long time ago, Jack. I'm so sorry I didn't" she said with sadness in her voice.

Jack put his arms around her. "Hey, let's not dwell. You're here now and that's all that matters."

Sam slid her arms around his waist and hugged him as she rested her head on his shoulder. In a minute she leaned back and they stared into each other's eyes. Jack slowly leaned down and kissed her. It went on until they both had to breathe and Jack put his hands on either side of Sam's face as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Samantha Carter" he whispered.

"I love you too, Jack O'Neill" she said with a smile.

He hugged her tightly to him again before letting go.

"Since we've already got our coats on, how about we go into town, have breakfast and get some food so we won't starve to death."

"Sounds good to me" she said as he took her hand and they walked to the truck.

Soon they were back at the cabin and just as they arrived, it began to snow again.

"Looks like we'll have even more snow for Christmas" Jack said as he slid off the seat.

"It will be even more beautiful" Sam said as she folded the blanket she had put over her legs. She got out of the truck and started to lift a bag of groceries when she felt a snowball hit her on the back. She turned around quickly and Jack was already making another one as he grinned at her.

"Oh, you're gonna get it!" she said as she made a snowball as fast as she could. A moment later, another one hit her on her neck and she cringed as some of the snow went down the collar of her sweater and coat.

Sam packed the snow in her hands and took off after Jack as he ran around the truck. She had almost caught up with him when his foot slipped out from under him and he lost his balance and fell in the snow. Sam could not stop in time and fell on top of him. She pushed the snowball into his face as they both started laughing. Jack spit out the snow, then wrapped his arms around her. They slowly stopped laughing and stared into each other's eyes. Sam pressed her lips to Jack's as he put his hand on the back of her head and held her close for a moment.

"As wonderful as this is, I think we better get up" Jack said.

"I don't know, I'm kinda enjoying this" Sam said as she quickly kissed him again and grinned at him.

"Yes, but you're not the one on the bottom freezing in the snow" he said with a laugh.

Sam pushed herself up and held out her hand to help him stand. They got the groceries out of the truck and went inside.

They spent the day talking about whatever came to mind.

That evening after they had eaten, they sat down to a game of Scrabble. After each had won a game, they decided to stop for the night. Jack made popcorn and they sat in front of a roaring fire, wearing only socks on their feet, with their feet propped up on a coffee table and a blanket spread over their legs, as they shared the popcorn. Jack told stories about his life with Sara and Charlie as Sam listened intently. Sam told Jack of growing up in a military family and the pranks that she and Mark used to play on each other.

They learned a lot about the other as they reminisced. It was good to sit and talk about things other than their jobs.

After the popcorn was gone, Jack had his arms around Sam as she leaned against him and they stared silently into the fire, just enjoying being alone together.

Jack suddenly set up. "Grab your coat and put on your boots."

"Why?"

"We're going for a walk."

Sam did as he asked and he grabbed a flashlight as they went out the door. He took her hand and led her through the snow and a grove of trees. As they approached the other side of the grove, Jack stopped.

"Look up" he said as he still held her hand.

"Oh, it's beautiful" Sam said as she looked at the sky. The clouds had cleared away and the night sky was alight with thousands of twinkling stars. Since there were no city lights, the stars showed up even brighter in the blackness. Neither one said a word for a few minutes. They just stood there enjoying the beauty of the night.

"When Charlie was little, he and I used to come out here and look at the stars together and he would ask me all kinds of questions. I still come out here whenever I'm here. Somehow it makes me feel closer to him."

Sam wasn't sure what to say so she let go of Jack's hand, came around in front of him and slid her arms around his waist. They embraced for several minutes as Jack held her in his arms and rested his head on top of hers.

"Thank you, Jack, for sharing the stars with me."

"You're welcome" he said as he hugged her tightly.

They went back to the cabin and as they took off their boots, Jack glanced at his watch. "It's almost midnight so I guess we better get to bed before Santa comes" he said with a grin.

"Have you been a good boy" Sam asked with a mischievous grin.

A twinkle came to Jack's eyes. "Well, I think so. Guess I'll find out tomorrow if I get what I want" he said as he smiled at her and ran his hands up and down her arms.

"And what do you want, Jack?"

"I think you know the answer to that, Sam" he said as the smile left his face and he suddenly became serious. He pulled her to him and kissed her.

Sam didn't reply after the kiss was over but she was hoping she knew the answer.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

The next morning, Jack decided to make a big breakfast since it was Christmas.

Sam awoke to the smell of bacon. She got up, showered and got dressed and went into the kitchen. Jack was standing at the stove with his back to her and she wrapped her arms around his waist. He laid down the fork he had in his hand and turned around and hugged her back, neither one saying anything for a moment. Sam rested her head on Jack's chest, then leaned back to look at him.

"Merry Christmas, Jack" she said as she kissed him briefly on the lips.

"Merry Christmas, Sam" he said as he kissed her on the nose.

Soon breakfast was over and the dishes were washed. Jack clapped his hands together with excitement.

"Time for presents!" he said as he grabbed Sam's hand and they sat down on the floor in front of the tree.

"You first" Jack said as he handed her the larger of the two boxes.

Sam carefully slid the bow off the box and ripped off the paper. Jack had a smile on his face as she slowly folded back the tissue paper.

"Oh, Jack" she whispered as her eyes grew wide. "They're so pretty" she said as she picked up the baby pink cashmere sweater set.

"I hope you like them. I know you don't get a chance to get out of your BDU's very often, so when you do, I thought you might like something feminine to wear."

"Yes, I would. Thank you. I love them. The color is so pretty" she said as she kissed him.

"Are they the right size?"

Sam looked at the tags. "Yes, they are."

"Good. The lady in the store was about your size so she helped me pick them out" he said with a grin.

"They're perfect."

"Okay, now the other one" Jack said as he handed it to her.

She grinned at him as she unwrapped the box and lifted the lid.

"Oh, my." She took out the round diamond earrings and carefully looked at them.

"They're gorgeous. I want to put them on."

Sam stood and went into the bedroom and in a few moments came back out and sat back down.

"They look beautiful on you."

"I love them, Jack. You really have good taste" she said as she squeezed his hand.

"Now, your turn" she said as she handed him the box and placed it in his hands. "I hope you like it."

"It's heavy" he said as he took it from her.

Jack tore off the paper and his eyes grew large as he lifted a large photo album from the box. The outside was bound in beautiful brown leather with the word 'O'Neill' embossed in the bottom right corner.

Sam explained. "When I was at your house and we were going through Charlie's things, I noticed you had a large stack of photos. Sara and Charlie were a big part of your life, Jack, and I know looking at Charlie's things upsets you. But I thought you might want to put the photos in some kind of order eventually, and hopefully, in time, you can look at the pictures and remember the good times you had with your son and it won't make you quite so sad" she said as she felt a lump in her throat.

Tears welled in Jack's eyes as he slowly opened the album. Sam had written on the inside cover "Merry Christmas, Jack. My heart belongs to you. All my love. Sam."

He took a deep breath and put his hand over his mouth. He stared at the album as he ran his other hand over the smooth leather. He choked back the tears and cleared his throat.

"This is the nicest gift you could have given me, Sam. I'll treasure this always. Thank you" he said as he looked into her eyes, then he slowly ran his hand over the cover again, just admiring the gift. In a few moments, he gently placed the album back in the box.

"I'll keep it in the box for now. I don't want to get it dirty."

Jack stood up and held out his hand to help Sam off the floor. "Sit on the sofa and close your eyes" Jack said as he started to grin.

"Why?"

"You'll see. Just close your eyes."

Sam sat down and closed her eyes as she heard Jack walk away. She heard a drawer being opened in a small desk that set in the corner of the room. In a moment, he came back and sat down beside her.

"Open your eyes."

Sam gasped and her eyes grew big as she put her hand over her mouth and she felt she could hardly breathe.

Jack held in his hand a tiny box with a beautiful marquise diamond ring, set in a platinum band.

"I love you, Sam. Will you marry me?"

"Jack" she whispered as tears ran down her cheeks and she stared at the ring.

"Well, if you don't like it . . ." he started to say with a grin.

Sam shook her head from side to side. "It's . . . it's just . . . I . . . I . . . you . . . we" she stammered out the words.

Jack started to laugh. "I must say, in all the years I've known you, this is the first time I've ever seen you speechless."

Sam started nodding her head up and down.

"Is that a 'yes' Miss Carter?" Jack said as he grinned at her.

"Yes!" Sam finally said as she threw her arms around his neck.

Her hand was trembling slightly as Jack slid the ring on her finger.

"It's beautiful" she said as she tried to stop crying and looked up at him. "But what about the regulations?"

"Well, I've been giving that a lot of thought."

"And?"

"I'm retiring."

Sam opened her mouth to protest.

"Ah ah" Jack said as he held up his hand to silence her. "You mean more to me than any job ever will and I'm tired of waiting and wondering if we'll ever have our chance to be together. So, I'm making this our chance to be together. I'm getting too old to be out running around all over the galaxy, Sam. My knees are shot, my back hurts and I want to spend the rest of my days with you, instead of wondering if I'll make it home or not, every time I go through the Gate.

"But what if General Hammond won't accept your resignation?"

"I think Hammond already knows how I feel about you. The man isn't blind and he does know about the zatarc test, you know. I don't think it will come as any big surprise and I don't think he'll protest. He knows I'm getting almost too old to command a field unit any longer anyway. Besides that, there is something you didn't know."

"What?"

"Remember when we were stuck on the planet and your Dad rescued us?"

Sam nodded her head.

"While you were sleeping on the ship, I asked Jacob if it would be okay with him if I propose to you" Jack said with a grin.

"You did?" Sam said as she started to smile.

"I did and he said 'yes' and he was honored that I would ask him before I asked you."

Sam giggled. "Just before we landed at the Alpha site so we could gate home, he kept grinning at me and when I asked him why he was grinning, he wouldn't tell me. He just said it was nothing. As soon as he left, I forgot all about it. Now I know why he was acting that way. I can't wait to get a message to him to let him know we're officially engaged."

"You know, Daniel and Teal'c figured out a long time ago that I love you and they're our friends. I think everyone will be happy for us."

"I so want to be your wife, Jack. You don't know how long I've dreamed about this very moment" she said as the tears came again.

"Sweet" Jack said as he kissed her on the cheek. "You know what this means, Sam."

"No, what?"

"This means you can now get your mother's wedding dress down from your attic because you're going to need it."

Sam hugged him again. "Yes, I will."

A little later, they dressed warmly and went walking hand-in-hand in the snow. Jack showed Sam his property. He told her that he used to love to come visit his grandparents here at the cabin, when he was a little boy.

The day flew by. That evening they both became very quiet as they removed the ornaments from the tree and packed them back in the boxes and Jack took them back to the attic.

When he returned, Sam asked him to sit with her on the sofa and she held his hands in hers.

"I just want you to know that even if you had not given me the sweater set, the earrings and my beautiful engagement ring, this is still the best Christmas I've ever had, simply because I got to spend it with you. We've waited so long for this and I still can hardly believe that my dream is finally coming true. I love you, Jack" she said as she looked into his beautiful brown eyes.

"I love you too, Sam."

They sat back on the sofa, wrapped in each other's arms.

The next morning, they reluctantly left the cabin to return to the Springs.

**§§§§§§§§§§§**

Two weeks after Christmas, Jack asked Sam to come to his house. He greeted her at the door with a hug and kiss, then took her by the hand and led her to the table in the dining room. Jack had gotten all the pictures out of the box that Sara had given him and laid them all out on the table.

"I thought you might like to help me with these" Jack said as they sat down side by side. "I pretty much remember the time line for all of them and I wanted you to be here" he said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"I would love to help but are you sure you're up to this? I mean, we can wait if you really don't want to do this now. Just whenever you're ready" she said as she squeezed his hand.

"I think I'm finally ready. You're right, Sam. Sara and Charlie were a big part of my life and it's time to remember the good times I had with them instead of dwelling on how my son's life ended."

"Well then, let's get started" Sam said as she opened the album and Jack picked up the first photo.

THE END


End file.
